Saturday, March 6, 2010

postheadericon Saying Goodbye just isn't easy

                  One year ago today I had just arrived home from dropping my son off at school when I sat down and opened my laptop.  I logged in and was planning on heading to my email to check that when I scrolled too fast in my favorites and happened upon myspace.  I figured since I was there I could log in and check out what my friends were doin and such before heading to my email.  Upon entering I saw that a friend of mine had posted a status message about another friend of ours husband, asking us to pray for him during his stay in the hospital.  Now let me tell you a little about him.  Chris has Cystic Fibrosis so us hearing about him being in the hospital was not a shock because he had regular hospital stays a couple times a year.  So I texted her to make sure thats what this was in fact was a regular hospital stay. She confirmed my thoughts and told me however that this time it was not going so well.  He had to be intubated the evening before and this morning things had gone south.  I told Cyndi we needed to head up there to be with Chelle and to make sure she was doing ok.  Away we went!  We arrived at the hospital and Chelle gave us a quick run down on the mornings events and everything seemed well.  Even though Chris had a rough morning he was stable now and back on the track of his regular visit.  Cyndi and I took Chelle to lunch at the new Taco Bell just outside the hospital and then to run a few errands as they had sold their home and were moving into a new home closer to all of us:)  This is why Chris choose to do his hospital visit when he did so he could be done before the move.  Upon arriving back at the hospital we were told that things were not good. Chelle asked us to wait in the waiting room while she found out what exactly was going on.  During our wait Chelle was told that they had done everything they could for Chris but at this point the machines were breathing for him.  She had to make one of the hardest decisions in her life because her husband did not want to be kept alive by machines.  He had beaten so many odds in his life and felt that being kept alive by machines was not his idea of life.  After a few hours, many tears, family being contacted Chelle made the decision to shut down the machines and allow Chris to fight on his own.  Shortly after this Chris stopped breathing. 
             I watched Chelle have to pick up and move into a new house without her husband.  I watched her become an even stronger woman than she was before.  I watched Chelle move on in life the best she could.
            Today it has been a year since that evening, however even as I sit here it feels like just yesterday at times.  Tonight the same group of us that was there to say goodbye with her will go out in Chris's honor and have a drink or two.
            I never thought that life and death can effect someone so much.  Growning up I did not experience alot of death as I am fortunate to have all of my grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, everyone.  So when this day came and I had to not only help Chelle, I had to deal with my own feelings and figure out what it was I was feeling and how I could handle it.  I will say it was very rough but I can only then imagine what she was going through inside.  Does the pain ever stop?  Only time will tell.......I love you Chelle.
                               We Miss You Chris!
                      Always in our Hearts!




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